Wednesday, May 9, 2012

playing catch up.

I've been bad. SOOOO much has been going on in the last few weeks that I can barely begin to get my head around it all, let alone blog about it. I really do want to get better about posting on here at least 2-3 times a week. I know that I woul love to see expansion in my number of followers and who in the heck is gonna follow someone that doesnt ever post!? :) So I am very sorry readers. I am now going to attempt to play catch up. I will try to make this into several posts instead of one long one. HERE GOES NOTHING!

Part 1:

The weather here cant make up its mind. one day its like this:

daddy and B flying her barbie kite.

And the next its like this:
view from inside my car after PWOC (bible study)

I think its the one part of the North Country I will never ever get used to.

Next on the agenda is my rededication to my yoga mat. Ok dedication is a STRONG word. But I am really really really trying to get on it more. including weekly yoga class with my favorite Jessicas (yes I have SEVERAL and they are a-maz-ing) once a week at the Y. I so wish I had a picture of us trying not to laugh at our instructor Michele when she reminds us during savasana that "you are beautiful, you are good enough, and gosh darnnit people like you!". I think its our favorite part.  

And last but certainly not least on this post is part of the reason I have been so absent. I have realized in the last few weeks that I was more traumatized by my husbands injuries than I ever though possible. I have been dealing with major emotional stress and trying to just "deal" and of course thats not working. I am in the process of finding a counselor I like and working with my doctor to manage my hormones so that maybe just maybe I can stay off antidepressants/antianxiety meds. Ive gone that road before and really really dont like the way I feel on them. I never though homecoming and the end of deployment would trigger such feelings of trauma. I expected it to be the release, the end, the chance to finally really start putting everything that happened in Sept/Oct behind me. It was literally the opposite. It was so unexpected that it actually took quite a while for me to figure out what in the heck was going on. Can I just say though, I have the most amazing support system. First my husband who has stuck by my side through all my crappy moods, random crying episodes, and held me after each and every nightmare. And next to my amazing Army family. Since my own family cant be here to help us out, they are my amazing support friends. I dont know how to ever thank God enough for putting the people in my life that he has. Between my amazing friends and even more amazing husband reminding me that God has a plan for us, that it is Him that I need to put my trust and focus in, I know that I will make it through this. My family has done what they can from far away but there is only so much that they can do from there.

Its been a rough road with both my husband and I realizing that we were not doing everything we could to make things better. I know we will get through this rough patch. Thats the kind of marriage we have. Its forever. Good AND bad. Thank you Jesus for teaching me what that means.

The other things that have gotten me through are some awesome blog posts. Seriously I love these women. They are amazing writers who share their lives on their blog and make us feel welcome. I have to share some of my favs.

So there it is. The general mess that has been our life the last few weeks.
 Coming up in parts 2-4 are as follows:
2~ Teacher Appreciation gifts
3~ Battalion Ball
4~ My little backyard garden

and now for a good laugh. this is video of my darling 3yo daughter last night. I found her an awesome t-shirt at Target yesterday and couldnt resist. We have gone Avengers crazy in this house the last 2 weeks since we are planning an Avengers bday party for J next month (lots to come on that!!!). B has a fav character....... its sooo cute! enjoy!

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