Monday, May 21, 2012

parts 3&4 will just have to wait

so I should have been working on the rest of our story from the first part of the month. SORRY! Its just going to have to wait a little bit. I promise some super awesome pics (ok they are just ok pics but the people in them are amazing!) are coming from our ball and I have some super cute pics from our ever growing garden to share too. But It seem slike this week, God has been tugging on my heart in a new direction.

We have TONS going on right now. This month is flying by so fast. It makes me really sad. I have been begging for warmer weather, and nicer days, and all the things that come with a North Country summer but the sooner it gets here, the sooner it will be gone...and we will move again. So I am trying to savor every moment.

So far this month we have attended our last military ball, raised money/walked 3 miles for March for Babies, planted our garden outside, helped our bff's demolish their kitchen (the renovation is going awesome! pics of it to come later too!), made gifts for teachers, spent more days playing outside than inside, attended a Mothers Day tea at J's school, started tball games, attended J's spring concert, helped at church during District Assembly, had the washing machine quit, nursed J back to health after a nasty cold (over mothers day no less), played in a church league softball game, found out our tenants at our rental moved out with no notice 3 months early, and learned more than I could ever imagine duirng it all.

I think I learned more in the last 3 weeks than I have in months. For the first time I am starting to see the fog lift. Starting to feel like things are really falling into place. And amazingly I am not freaking out about them. Even the renters moving out. Dont get me wrong I had my moment of panic when I first got that phone call from our property managers, but thanks to my amazing husband, good friends, and my faith that God WILL provide for us, I made it through that "moment" with no lasting anxiety. Where did all this calm come from?! I havent been getting up to do my yoga in the morning like I wanted to, my house is no where even close to being as clean as I would like, I feel like most days I have a bigger to do list than time to do it in, and have had plently go wrong. I shouldnt be so calm, I shouldnt be so ready to just keep moving forward. But thats right where I am. cause the one thing I did change was to pray about it, and give it up to God.

For months I kept my depression/trauma/anxiety a secret (as best I could). My closest friends knew something was up and have done the best they could to see me through it. My husband knew and did all he could to stand by me and let know that he was there for whatever I needed. Turns out I needed more sunshine, more open prayer, and some awesome sermons from Pastor Chad and Life church. I needed to hear that it was ok to not be ok. I needed to be reminded that God KNEW. God saw everything that was going on in my life and KNEW what I needed, what was good, and wanted nothing but that good for me. I needed to be told that I need to let go of my nets around me. Those ones I keep tripping over (those things I keep holding onto as if they are going to sustain me the way only God can). I had to let go of the financial worry, the "after the army" worry, the body image issues, the "what will so-and-so think" attitude, and just give it all up to Jesus. I cant handle those kind of nets, those burdens. I just cant. and let me tell you what, its freeing, its amazing. Do I still have times when I feel overwhelmed and anxious or sad or scared? Damn straight I do, but I remind myself that God is so much bigger than this. He WILL provide exactly what we need. Might not be what I want (case in point: I wanted my husband home from deployment, but not the way it happened. God knew I needed him home and how it was going to happen to bring us both closer to Him). I NEED Jesus. I need bringing glory to Him to be the top thing on my mind everyday, top of my "to-do" list. Cause then everything else just falls into place, the way He wants it to.

I have purposely spent more time just trying to enjoy small moments with my children and husband this month.

 Walks through the trails with B

hubs coaching J

watching the joy on my husbands face when he see's that I am washing his truck for him

just enjoying this AMAZING life we have up here.

Thank you God for giving us the chance to grow closer to you.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

part 2: teacher appreciation gifts

yes i am aware that teacher appreciation was last week. my life seems to get more and more insane by the minute. the good thing is, all of these ideas could be used as end of the year gifts too. =D
each day has the teacher gift as well as the gift for the aide in his classroom.

Monday: Cup & notecards

The original idea for the cup came from pinterest and this blog:
"You have all the 'write' stuff!"
"Thanks for quenching my thirst for knowledge!"

J's teacher LOVED it. She was so excited! With as many times as the original link had been pinned I figured for sure she was going to get 4 of them. NOPE!  Inside is just a piece of scrapbook paper rolled up as a filler and 4 packets of crystal light drink mix. His teacher aide got the set of notecards. I never really got to see her reaction to gifts since she was usually helping get kids off the bus when we went to his classroom.

Tuesday: Stamps & Candy

"Thanks for being an A+ teacher!"
This was just a set of 4 wooden stamps and 3 ink pads. total cost: $4!!!
his teachers aide got the small container of candy pictured in the group pic at the top. Apparently I didnt take a picture of it by itself! Whoops! =D More info on it later.

Wednesday: Candy & Notepad & Soap

3 GIFTS! Yep, Wednesday was also School Nurse appreciation day! So they got a wonderful foaming hand soap from B&BW! (I adore their 6/$20 specials!)

"to help you 'escape' all those nasty germs! thanks for all you do!"

His teacher got candy and the aide got the notepad and pencil. Total cost for these 2 projects: $5! The containers with candy came as a set of 3 for $1. So I used one for his aide and the other 2 for his teacher. 

"Thanks for being so sweet!"
"Thanks for being an A+ aide!"

Thursday: Frame & Lotion

"Thanks for helping handle the stress of our class!"
"Thanks for being so amazing!"

$3 frame from wallyworld, scarpbook paper, & a cricut = love! And a $4 bottle of lotion and a $.50 nail file make for EASY stress relief! =D

Friday: FLOWERS!

"Thanks for helping me grow"

I think I spent more time and energy on these than all the others combined. First the pots I bought for J to paint were not working at all. BUMMER! So we ended up at the PX to get new ones (and flowers!) on Thursday night before tball. He had fun painting these though. The signs took me forever to make. Thats what I get for waiting til the last minute though!!! I had all the other gifts ready to go the week before. Oh well. They loved them! Mrs. A even put hers on the table during our Mothers Day tea at school Friday afternoon!

Oh but wait there is more! On Tuesday I gave Brooklyns teachers at her pre-k (its really daycare but more structured) gifts as well! I <3 the dollar section at target.....
Each one included a slinky, a flower growing kit, drink mix, a notepad and pencil, star stickers, gum, and chocolates.
card said: "A special gift for an EXTRA special teacher! Thanks for helping to QUENCH MY THIRST for knowledge! you are a SUPER STAR teacher, with all the WRITE stuff! Its been so much FUN learning to GROW in your class! HUGS AND KISSES!"
I hope you enjoyed all the gifts and found some inspiration to show your kids teacher just what they have meant to you!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

playing catch up.

I've been bad. SOOOO much has been going on in the last few weeks that I can barely begin to get my head around it all, let alone blog about it. I really do want to get better about posting on here at least 2-3 times a week. I know that I woul love to see expansion in my number of followers and who in the heck is gonna follow someone that doesnt ever post!? :) So I am very sorry readers. I am now going to attempt to play catch up. I will try to make this into several posts instead of one long one. HERE GOES NOTHING!

Part 1:

The weather here cant make up its mind. one day its like this:

daddy and B flying her barbie kite.

And the next its like this:
view from inside my car after PWOC (bible study)

I think its the one part of the North Country I will never ever get used to.

Next on the agenda is my rededication to my yoga mat. Ok dedication is a STRONG word. But I am really really really trying to get on it more. including weekly yoga class with my favorite Jessicas (yes I have SEVERAL and they are a-maz-ing) once a week at the Y. I so wish I had a picture of us trying not to laugh at our instructor Michele when she reminds us during savasana that "you are beautiful, you are good enough, and gosh darnnit people like you!". I think its our favorite part.  

And last but certainly not least on this post is part of the reason I have been so absent. I have realized in the last few weeks that I was more traumatized by my husbands injuries than I ever though possible. I have been dealing with major emotional stress and trying to just "deal" and of course thats not working. I am in the process of finding a counselor I like and working with my doctor to manage my hormones so that maybe just maybe I can stay off antidepressants/antianxiety meds. Ive gone that road before and really really dont like the way I feel on them. I never though homecoming and the end of deployment would trigger such feelings of trauma. I expected it to be the release, the end, the chance to finally really start putting everything that happened in Sept/Oct behind me. It was literally the opposite. It was so unexpected that it actually took quite a while for me to figure out what in the heck was going on. Can I just say though, I have the most amazing support system. First my husband who has stuck by my side through all my crappy moods, random crying episodes, and held me after each and every nightmare. And next to my amazing Army family. Since my own family cant be here to help us out, they are my amazing support friends. I dont know how to ever thank God enough for putting the people in my life that he has. Between my amazing friends and even more amazing husband reminding me that God has a plan for us, that it is Him that I need to put my trust and focus in, I know that I will make it through this. My family has done what they can from far away but there is only so much that they can do from there.

Its been a rough road with both my husband and I realizing that we were not doing everything we could to make things better. I know we will get through this rough patch. Thats the kind of marriage we have. Its forever. Good AND bad. Thank you Jesus for teaching me what that means.

The other things that have gotten me through are some awesome blog posts. Seriously I love these women. They are amazing writers who share their lives on their blog and make us feel welcome. I have to share some of my favs.

So there it is. The general mess that has been our life the last few weeks.
 Coming up in parts 2-4 are as follows:
2~ Teacher Appreciation gifts
3~ Battalion Ball
4~ My little backyard garden

and now for a good laugh. this is video of my darling 3yo daughter last night. I found her an awesome t-shirt at Target yesterday and couldnt resist. We have gone Avengers crazy in this house the last 2 weeks since we are planning an Avengers bday party for J next month (lots to come on that!!!). B has a fav character....... its sooo cute! enjoy!