Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Hello all you pretty people!

Wow. What a year 2013 has been so far. I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that we are almost at Jeremys two year Alive Day anniversary. Two years. I remember talking just a couple months after it happened and wanting so badly to get two years down the road. For things to be "normal". To put it behind us. Not realizing that it would never be possible for us to "put your behind in your past" (no Pumbaa.... its you gotta put your past behind you. Amateur.) We are forever changed. My husband is forever changed, in so many good ways. Our family is forever changed, and blessed beyond measure by those changes. I am forever changed, in unexpected ways. 

We have been back in KC for ten months. That number is almost as hard for me as his anniversary. We miss New York still, our friends, our old life. I have been trying desperately to keep moving forward, but I admit, its insanely difficult. Some days are easier than others. Like its fabulous to be home to help celebrate my nieces first birthday, and to go to Royals games, and to plant a real garden.... There is still so much that feels unfinished though. We left in such a hurry. So many things have just been figured out over the last couple of months. Some things are still being sorted out. (ie: VA dependent pay. We had to involve our congressman, its still "pending"). I am still struggling to find my niche. To find out what I am suppose to be working on. Jeremy is plugging away at school with a specific goal in mind. Its hard to not have a specific goal, just a broad one: Get involved in some organization that I can make a difference in. HELLO HUGE GOAL THAT MAKES IT FEEL IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH. We want to be involved with organizations that help other wounded soldiers. We want to be involved in more local ministries. Yet there seems to be no good way to start. Its hard to plug into organizations that really only look at wounded warriors as soldiers who have lost limbs or have obvious disabilities. Jeremy's disabilities are impossible to see if you don't know what to look for. Civilians still take a step back when you tell his story. Like its contagious. Like he might go into some PTSD rage at any moment. News flash! My husband doesnt have PTSD. Thank you Jesus. It was one of my biggest prayers during deployments. That not only would God guard his body, but also his mind. 

Anywho.... This is our life right now.
Mustache stickers go with everything
My lil Luke Bryan fan.

Love him.

My 30th birthday dinner. They had Cheesecake for dessert. Can you tell?!
We had some of our best friends come down recently to visit. Seeing my Jessicas & my lil sis Lakin was a blessing and a curse. I miss them so much it hurts. I miss so many people. I know they are only a phone call away. So not the same though. 

Meeting baby Grady for the first time.

In Topeka to see another Jessica!

The kids last few moments together. Horribly lighting I know. 
Took Giffins to their first Royals game
I live her. My first Jessica. 

And more recently, this happened. 

Speaking of which. I really need to go get ready to pick her up from school. I plan on trying to keep up with the blog better in the coming weeks. See ya soon!!!!!!


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