My heart just hurts today.

Hey y'all. So This blog fell off the face of the planet. SORRY 'BOUT THAT!!!!! Really I am. 99% of the people in our circle get info about us via facebook, text, instagram, or twitter. But recently, I have felt the calling to start writing again. If for no other reason than to be a therapy for me. A place to get out my thoughts and feelings, a place to hold me accountable for the things I say I am going to do, a place where I can share the people and things I love. I know very few people see this, and I have zero intention of ever hosting ads on my page (unless its for Wounded Warrior Project or other organizations helping veterans) but regardless, I would like to see this blog grow.

A few weeks ago I started reading a blog called A Slob Comes Clean , and totally fell for her style of blogging. She just put herself out there. She used her blog as a way to communicate to herself, not just others. And in the process, she found a community of people who had the same issues she did, who felt the same, who wanted to do the same things are her, and wanted to support her.  She has inspired me to work harder as a wife, as a mom, and as a friend. To grow, both spiritually and in my actions.

Today especially, my heart hurts. It seems like the last few weeks has been more bad news after more bad news. Majority of it does not affect my family directly, but some does. Its the shootings at malls and schools, the orphans and widows in Syria, the drugs found too close to home, the girls being trafficked through my very own city, friends whose marriages are ending, an aunt, friend, and child battling cancer, the anxiety of bills that need to be paid, soldiers who aren't coming home, people out in the bitter cold with no place to go... the list just keeps growing. And my heart is heavy with it all.

 And yet, it fuels me. I want to pray over and be there for the friend who doesn't know what will happen to her marriage. I want to send a card to the wives who are burying their husbands and tell them how much I love them and how so very sorry I am for their loss. I want to teach my kids how to be good friends that lift up their peers so that no one in their life every feels the need to bring a gun to school. I want to trust God that the provision to pay the bills will be there. I want to volunteer my time to help end human trafficking. I want to visit the kid in prison and tell him its going to be ok, there is hope. Hope in a savior who loves us and is always faithful. I want to feed, clothe, strengthen, and empower the homeless vet with no place to call his own.

And mostly, I want to be a better wife and mom. 

Not perfect. Please notice I didn't say PERFECT, but better.

There are places I am lacking. there are areas in my life that I am straight up failing at. And that hurts. And I want to do better. I'm not sure how though. I know that I need to just trust that God has a bigger plan. Sometimes that's easier said than done. The only thing I can do is just keep moving forward. One very small step at a time.This week that means putting a big focus on my family and those closest to me. Putting a focus on building up my husband, and my marriage. Striving to seek out the best in my kids and not just telling them what they are doing wrong.

I know that I will fail this week. 

I know it will not be easy to put aside the fear and hurt. 

I know that no matter what, I must keep moving forward.

I must keep praying and seeking God. Striving to bring Him praise and glory. 

I must. 

Then maybe, just maybe, my heart won't hurt so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So after posting this, I saw tonight's blog post from IF:Gathering. HELLO GOD SPEAKING STRAIGHT TO MY HEART! Thank you God for giving me an outlet. I pray I will use it more and that it will help more than just my own heart. 

Faith Monday 2

Here goes nothing! Again, my apologies about basically shutting down this blog for the summer. Things here have been CRAZY! So as per my posted schedule, today is all about my faith and what I have learned over the past week. hmmmm. Where to begin?

I learned a lot about my faith in the last few weeks really. God has been challenging our family hardcore. We have been forced to make big decisions in a very short period of time. We have been required to trust how God is working in our lives, even without being able to see where that is leading us. Part of me has wanted to just crawl into bed, not deal with anything, and let my depression cloud get the better of me. The other part is reminded, especially this last 2 weeks, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Did I want Jeremy to be injured? Heck no! I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone....wait. maybe I would. This whole terrible, traumatic, painful journey has forced us to take a hard look at what we believe to be true, to trust like never before, and to be blessed with riches far greater than we hoped. So many prayers were answered in this last year for us.

some small, some big, some selfish, some honest, some just because.

We have been so blessed. People are honestly still amazed when I say that. Why? Why cant we take the pain and hurt and turn it into something good that glorifies God? This IS our testimony. This is our chance to show others how much God cares, how He loves, and how we are to love. I admit, I am amazed that we made it to the year mark. It seems like just yesterday that I was walking in his ICU room praying that he would be okay.

I think the fact that this year has gone by so fast is part of the reason I am so scared to move away. I'm worried I will lose sight of the God I have come to know and love so much more deeply when we leave here. His presence is very evident here to me. This is the place where I have developed my strongest relationship with both God and my family. I know in heart though that I have to keep trusting Him. I have to keep trusting that everything we are going through now is part of the same great plan that I trusted him through a year ago. I knew then that God was taking care of us in the midst of the storm. And He still is. He will forever. I just need to continue to seek His face and trust that there is purpose in our lives, and we will be provided for.

Hear my voice when I call Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"

Your face Lord, I will seek.

Psalm 27: 7-8 NIV

Faith Monday 1

Ok time to try out the new schedule! woohoo!!

im totally trying to wake myself up here can you tell?!

B and I spent the morning at the gym then had a lunch date with a good friend. B of course fell asleep on the way home which made me soooo sleepy too. I ended up spending an hour and a half in bed watching tv while she napped.

(of course now that I am trying to knowck out this post she is waking up!).

Im so glad I got up when I did though. I was able to see one of our neighbors take in a new foster child (at least Im 99% sure thats what was going on). At the time I was working on a devotional made especially for busy moms. I couldnt help but prayer for the girl, this new family, and her own family that she is currently seperated from. I dont know her story and probably never will. Thats ok. But it did get me thinking about just how much I want to someday foster/adpot.

Seeing a very nice family take in a child who needs a home only strengthened my desire to be able to be a part of this world. This world of kids who need to be shown unconditional love, covenant love, Godly love. I am so blessed to have a husband who supports this desire that God wrote on my heart so many years ago. We both know that getting into it is still at least a couple years away if not longer depending on the other things that God lays out for us.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after oprphans and widos in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.   

  James 1:27 (NIV)

It also made me think about WHY we want to get into fostering or adopting (or both). And it has nothing to do with being religious, or looking good to others, or because we have to to be Christians. It has EVERYTHING to do with just being the right thing to do. To care for those around you that need to be cared for. Because no matter what religion you are, that is right. It is 100% what I would want for our own children if something happened to us. For them to be taken in by people who can love them. I am so thankful that God has given me this desire and I cant wait to see how he is going to move and make it happen.

What big challenge/desire has God laid on your heart?

Part 4: our little backyard garden

Our little backyard garden is growing so well! I didn't think it would take off but we have already been able to enjoy some of the lettuce and green beans from it. hopefully my carrots will be done soon so we can enjoy those too. this makes me hopeful that when we move back down to warmer climates I can have a real garden, not just a container one.

So here are some pics from last month:


Right after I got everything transplanted outside and new seeds planted.
Back row is all green beans, middle blue ones are carrots, middle red is lettuce, and front has basil and garlic. and yes that's my giant 7yo chocolate lab Bailey who just had to be in the picture!

first flowers on the beans

and more current ones:

look how much its grown! not a great pic i know and please excuse my very messy porch!!!!

3 types of romaine lettuce. i had my doubts if it was going to transplant well and apparently it just needed to be outside! they are so yummy!!!

these are the carrots i planted outside as seeds. they are as big as my ones that started inside!

can you see all the baby green beans in there too?! the next few warm days should give me enough to use in a meal!

So I don't have any fabulous advice about planting a container garden. Especially because the growing season here is so weird, and because this is the first year I have really been able to grow anything other than pumpkins! I will say that I am glad I did start indoors because its given me some plants that are at various stages of development and so I will have a slightly longer season. The kids have really enjoyed watching them grow. They always let me know when there are beans that are ready to be picked and both kids will eat their salad if I put even just 1 piece of lettuce from the garden in it! Quite honestly the plants just make me happy. I feel accomplished knowing that I can grow food for our family, even if its just this tiny amount for now. Somehow it makes me feel a litle closer to God. Like watching this creation happen before my eyes is one way He is just reminding me thats everything is going to be ok. See how he cares for even the tiny plants?

So what are you growing this year?! Any veggies? Flowers? Tell me! Got any advice to help me make the most of this tiny garden?

parts 3&4 will just have to wait

so I should have been working on the rest of our story from the first part of the month. SORRY! Its just going to have to wait a little bit. I promise some super awesome pics (ok they are just ok pics but the people in them are amazing!) are coming from our ball and I have some super cute pics from our ever growing garden to share too. But It seem slike this week, God has been tugging on my heart in a new direction.

We have TONS going on right now. This month is flying by so fast. It makes me really sad. I have been begging for warmer weather, and nicer days, and all the things that come with a North Country summer but the sooner it gets here, the sooner it will be gone...and we will move again. So I am trying to savor every moment.

So far this month we have attended our last military ball, raised money/walked 3 miles for March for Babies, planted our garden outside, helped our bff's demolish their kitchen (the renovation is going awesome! pics of it to come later too!), made gifts for teachers, spent more days playing outside than inside, attended a Mothers Day tea at J's school, started tball games, attended J's spring concert, helped at church during District Assembly, had the washing machine quit, nursed J back to health after a nasty cold (over mothers day no less), played in a church league softball game, found out our tenants at our rental moved out with no notice 3 months early, and learned more than I could ever imagine duirng it all.

I think I learned more in the last 3 weeks than I have in months. For the first time I am starting to see the fog lift. Starting to feel like things are really falling into place. And amazingly I am not freaking out about them. Even the renters moving out. Dont get me wrong I had my moment of panic when I first got that phone call from our property managers, but thanks to my amazing husband, good friends, and my faith that God WILL provide for us, I made it through that "moment" with no lasting anxiety. Where did all this calm come from?! I havent been getting up to do my yoga in the morning like I wanted to, my house is no where even close to being as clean as I would like, I feel like most days I have a bigger to do list than time to do it in, and have had plently go wrong. I shouldnt be so calm, I shouldnt be so ready to just keep moving forward. But thats right where I am. cause the one thing I did change was to pray about it, and give it up to God.

For months I kept my depression/trauma/anxiety a secret (as best I could). My closest friends knew something was up and have done the best they could to see me through it. My husband knew and did all he could to stand by me and let know that he was there for whatever I needed. Turns out I needed more sunshine, more open prayer, and some awesome sermons from Pastor Chad and Life church. I needed to hear that it was ok to not be ok. I needed to be reminded that God KNEW. God saw everything that was going on in my life and KNEW what I needed, what was good, and wanted nothing but that good for me. I needed to be told that I need to let go of my nets around me. Those ones I keep tripping over (those things I keep holding onto as if they are going to sustain me the way only God can). I had to let go of the financial worry, the "after the army" worry, the body image issues, the "what will so-and-so think" attitude, and just give it all up to Jesus. I cant handle those kind of nets, those burdens. I just cant. and let me tell you what, its freeing, its amazing. Do I still have times when I feel overwhelmed and anxious or sad or scared? Damn straight I do, but I remind myself that God is so much bigger than this. He WILL provide exactly what we need. Might not be what I want (case in point: I wanted my husband home from deployment, but not the way it happened. God knew I needed him home and how it was going to happen to bring us both closer to Him). I NEED Jesus. I need bringing glory to Him to be the top thing on my mind everyday, top of my "to-do" list. Cause then everything else just falls into place, the way He wants it to.

I have purposely spent more time just trying to enjoy small moments with my children and husband this month.

 Walks through the trails with B

hubs coaching J

watching the joy on my husbands face when he see's that I am washing his truck for him

just enjoying this AMAZING life we have up here.

Thank you God for giving us the chance to grow closer to you.

ahhhh spring.

Tomorrow I will probably regret writing this. I will wonder why on earth I claim to love this area so much when the gray and dreary rainy days come back. But for now I am going to just enjoy the days we have had with beautiful, sunny(ish), warm days. ahhhhhh spring.

We took the kids to the New York state Zoo at Thompson Park on Saturday. We adore Thompson Park. not only is it over a century old, its still so beautiful. The kids love playing on the giant wooden playground and getting to enjoy a picnic lunch with the family is always a plus. Biggest bonus: it ALWAYS wears the kids out and they fall asleep on the way home!!!! ;-)

J with one of the snakes. He LOVES those things

can you see the crazy horn on this goat!!!!?? its INSANE!

meet the newest "catamount"!! My husbands previous unit (known as the Catamounts) sponsors this exhibit!

J in the eagles nest. seriously kid stop growing!!!

B didnt quite get the whole put your arms out thing.

Yesterday we had another awesome service at Life Church. Me and my bff were both in tears at different points of the service. I got to be reminded (again) that God is in control, He wants to help me, wants to see me bring glory to Him, and will be faithful to us no matter what. I just have to trsut Him 100%. Man is that hard. I am so thankful that I have some amazing friends here though that can help see me through my darkest days. We spent lunch out with my bff and her hubby and kids. We had a great time and got to laugh a lot. Thankfully our kids do so well together that it isnt even that stressful to have a table of 9 where the kids outnumber the adults!

 But the best part of all about yesterday was that JACKSON LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH! AT TARGET! Thankfully our Target has the most AMAZING pharmacist who was able to give me a baggie to put it in. She also gave J a lollipop for being so awesome (B got one too cause she has Miss Barbara wrapped around her little finger!) He is so excited! Tooth Fairy came and went last night and left $5!!!! LUCKY!

Today B and I are rocking out at home. I have some usual stuff like laundry and dishes to do as well as about a zillion phone calls to make! J and I are overdue for dental cleanings (and he needs x-rays), and I hate hate hate going to the dentist. Also need to make lots of March for Babies fundraising calls. We are not even close to meeting our goal yet and I am bound and determined to get there! Wanna help?! Visit www.marchforbabies.org. Ok Time to put on my big girl panties and work on the house and phone calls. Wish me luck!!!

STOP IT!!!!!!!

Kind of a crazy title I know. Just hang with me for a minute. Our church us going through the book of Psalms this year....in the order they were written. What a task!! But thanks to the amazing talent God has given Pastor Chad and the other pastors at Life Church, we are learning a LOT!

So yesterday we landed on Psalm 69.

Not exactly the Easter story. Not exactly the call to worship a risen king.

But some where in there is that exact call.

In Psalm 69 David is crying out. He is lost, feels totally down, like every enemy is against him. And he asks God to strike them down, to punish his enemies. Then the Psalm takes a turn.  David remembers that though

 "I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.

The Lord hears the needy and does not despise his captive people,

Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and all hat move in them,

for God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah." (Psalm 69:29, 33-35 NIV)

That salvation came when Christ died on the cross and rose again. It was the perfect sacrifice so that our sins (all the stuff that makes us feel worthless, unlovable, undone) are forgiven. So we were challenged to STOP IT!

Stop making excuses about our walk with Christ.

Stop making excuses why we can't be a living, breathing, walking testimony to the love of God.

Just Stop It.

This rang so true for me. The demons I feel like I have been battling have been strong (stupid depression), but you know what, God is stronger. He is love. He is alive. He is RISEN.

After church we spent the afternoon exploring one of the trails and a park by the pond on post.

 I loved getting to watch my children just run and play in the sun.

See how He is renewing the earth and growing new life.

I got to see once again how God is MOVING through our family. 

Not everyday is gonna be great or perfect or even good. (ie: the major tantrum J threw downstairs because he was tired and had WAY too much sugar yesterday.)

But through it all, I know that its going to be ok. My purpose on this Earth is not to feel sorry for myself, not to hate those who persecute me, not to be down, or discouraged or anything remotely even close. My purpose on this Earth is to love and serve God, worshipping Christ my savior and bringing Him glory by sharing the gospel. It is what I intend to do from this day on.

Am I a perfect Christian, NO WAY!!!! Never could be. I know though that God will bring me through the darkest days, He will use my pain to bring healing and I have to trust him 100%.

Thank you Jesus for taking my sins on the cross and giving me the chance to worship you now and forever.

Growing in Gods perfect grace

A couple of weeks ago (when the weather was amazingly warm) the kids and I planted some seeds for our garden this year. Since we live in on-post housing we have to do all container gardens. This makes my selection of things to grow a bit smaller but fun anyways. I love watching these tiny plants grow as much as my kids do. And its such an awesome tangible way to show them how awesome God is.

So this year we have planted carrots, lettuce, green beans, sweet basil, oregano, and lavender. I also plan on planting blue potatoes if I can ever get around to going back to Lowes to pick up the starters.

I have been in awe of just how fast they are all coming up!!!!! It has been a reminder to me this past week of just how quickly god can change something in our life. How one tiny seed of an idea, or thought, or emotion, can be so quickly transformed into something useful in His kingdom. How awesome is our God?!

For me, I see God really growing our faith as a family. I see Him really starting to use us for things that have been in the works for months. I am so proud of how our family has changed and grown. I am so proud to say that I know we will be ok.

How is God growing in you this week?

New year, new start

I cant believe its been so long since I have posted anything!!! IM SORRY! I would love to say its been because I am so busy sipping mimosas and eating bon-bons but alas its been the exact opposite. Holidays, Jacksons school, Brooklyn starting school,  everyone getting sick, doctor appts, laundry, dog(s), and of course the never ending dishes and and and and and....... my list could go on forever.  I am pleased to say though that we are finally starting to feel some kind of normalcy in this house again.

Jeremy is (finally) with an actual company at WTU and has started more intense physical therapy. He has a new goal of running a half-marathon (no time frame yet). The doctors originally told him he would NEVER run again due to the nerve damage in his legs. When I reminded him of this fact he told me "have faith...". That I have, especially in what abilities God has given him. I am constantly amazed by the fact that he is even here, walking, breathing....   The excitement is building here as we prepare for his unit to come home from Afg. I cant wait to welcome them. I cant wait to have extra soldiers to feed again.

With all of this "new stuff" going on for us this year, I hve decided to expand this blog. More family stuff, crafts, more of our LIFE now that Jeremy is doing so well. I am forever grateful for the prayers and help the last 5 months as we have gone through this journey of his recovery. We are so blessed to have such amazing friends and family supporting us. So I hope you enjoy the "new" blog and its a little late but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

the roller coaster continues....

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times...He will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely, for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth. And he will be their peace." ~Micah 5:2, 4-5.

These are the verses God laid on my heart this morning. That even though we are going through a difficult time right now, soon we will be celebrating the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and rejoicing in what his birth means for us.

The last few days have been a roller coaster. There was the ER visit on the 29th, and then a couple days of recovery, then jeremy had a few more good days and the throwing up started all over again. It not just 2 steps forward and one back its like 4 steps forward and 3 back. He is currently at sick call trying to figure out why he was getting sick every hour. so help me God if they tell him its a stomach bug i may explode. The doc he saw monday thinks it has something to do with the bacteria in his intestines, maybe a bad one. quite possible after all the trauma to his system. so they are running some labs on that already but he CANT keep throwing up like this. dehydration is not really an option with only 1 kidney.

so i am asking once again for prayers. for healing and strength for jeremy and for patience and understanding for us both. the patience thing is getting harder and harder for us. we are so blessed that the recovery he has made so far has been so amazing, but there is still a long way to go before he is back to his "normal" pre-injury self.  thanks everyone!!!!!!

he is home!!!!

thank you God for bringing him home!!!! kids were super excited. i promise to post some pics and stuff later. have some errands to run while he inprocesses at WTU (thats been a fun experience so far let me tell you what), relying on the fact that we KNOW God brought him back here NOW for a reason. and i KNOW there are great things coming. trying to be happy about the small things, like hearing him snore while i sleep, and going to get pumpkins this weekend, and just getting to be a family again. love this soldier!!!!! welcome home baby!!!!

the sun will come out TOMORROW!!!!!

he is scheduled for a flight to ft drum TOMORROW!!!!!! wow! so much to do, so little time! so glad my friends here have been able to help! i could not have survived this without them. so thanks deploymates!! you rock! =D they know i love them dearly. jeremy was again a little sore after a PT session and an OT session but is just very anxious to be coming home. The kids are both very excited. I keep stressing the  fact that daddy cant lift them, or really do more than hug them. no jumping, rough-housing, or climbing of any kind. i know once they see his stomach they will be careful.

so tmrw i need to run to the grocery store, finish disinfecting the house and complete some welcome home signs. thinking about letting friends and family "sign" one. going to post this on FB too, so please leave me a comment below or a comment on the FB post telling me what you want your message to jeremy to say and i will sign them on his welcome home banner for you. local friends feel free to stop by and sign it yourself!!!!! you have until 4pm to do so! =D AND DONT TELL JEREMY!!!!!!!! iwant it to be a surprise! this is gonna be a great but insane day! i am just soooooo thankful that God has provided for us in such amazing ways.

purple heart

Jeremy got his purple heart today! and from the president no less!!!! it was a quick meet-n-greet type thing but still he got pinned (on his KU tshirt!) jeremy said everyone was very nice and i cant wait to see some of the professional pics taken and hear more about what happened. so proud of him!!!!

ok onto his progress. he is def more sore today. big PT session yesterday wiped him out. they changed some of his meds to hopefully curb the anxiety. still looks like he should be home with us in the next couple of days!!! i am so excited!!! there is still tons to do to get ready for his arrival though. with both kids having been sick i have to scrub this house and clorox the crap out of every surface. ugh! i am just glad he is continuing to make tremendous progress. this whole thing has really made us have to evaluate what we want out of life, our marriage, our faith, and i cant wait to see how God is gonna work through us in the coming weeks. its gonna be rough, there is no getting past that. But that doesnt mean it wont be good for us. i love you baby, im so proud of you.

I am simply amazed

Jeremy has had another good day even though his anxiety is bad today. Hey it happens, mine hasnt exactly been controlled lately! Lol! His went downstairs for occupational therapy and did really well that is until they had to peel him off the ceiling when a balloon popped!!!  Got my papers done for coming home to drum, and had lunch with him then rode the metro (scary!) to downtown and went sightseeing! Met up with inlaws to see the white house and when i got back found out we saw the 1985 chicago bears superbowl team on the grounds meeting president obama! Da bears!
Now we are waiting to meet back up with inlaws and have dinner. I still gotta do some laundry for j and pack for my flight tomorrow. Sad to be going but so glad that i am able to leave jeremy in capable hands. =D so thankful that God has given us the chance to grow closer through this experience.
Simple amazed......

Getting the staples out!

Better day today with just about everything! Staples coming out, not as much pain, and better appetite. cant believe how well he is doing today. Walking is better with pt, and i feel so so blessed to have been able to go through this journey with him!

Look ma! No tubes!

Today has been another eventful day. Not only did he get the feeding tube out this afternoon, but he also got to shower, shave, and is up and walking like a champ. I am simply amazed at how far God has brought him in the last week. A week ago we were worried that he couldnt tolerate being off the vent. Werent sure what i was going to see in germany. I am simply amazed.....
We have also been so humbled by the amazing people who volunteer their time here. Not only did the uso serve a fab lunch for families today, but jeremy also recieved 2 new coins today. 1 from "marines care", and one from the under secretary of the navy!! Tomorrow he is scheduled to recieve his purple heart. Not sure who all that entails but i will have my makeup on! Lol! And also met a couple who is going around to all the armed forces blood centers and donating blood. Considering we found out that jeremy had almost 50 units in all during his surgery we were so very thankful for their sacrifice. Its also amazing how much quicker paperwork can get done here. All mine is now done (as much as can be for this stage), his mom and bro have their orders and are coming tomorrow, and his purple heart papers are done! I seem to remember those taking a lot longer last go round! So excited to see the fam tomorrow!!!! =D
Best news of all is that everyone is working very hard to get him moved to drum as soon as possible. I am so thankful that God has placed so many of these people in our lives. Each day here has been a gift from the most high king.
Thank you Lord....

Talk about progress!!!!

Wow!!! So night went ok. He was having crazy vivid dreams keeping him awake after waking. Today has been insane with all kinds of consults with everything from his trauma team, pain management docs, social workers, liasons, finance for his LES, dental, concussion check, physical therapy, and still waiting on warrior transition brigade liason & occupational therapy.
Got to meet some of my faith deployed friends which was awesome! But now the concussion team just had to have him go through what happened to see if he needs further neurology eval for tbi or concussion. This is the first time i have heard what actually happened.  I will not be posting it but i am so thankful to now know what has happened. Seems to be handeling it ok. 

Lots of major changes today. Central line in neck is out, soft mechanical diet starting, change in pain meds, foley coming out, has walker from pt so he can get up when he needs to, and no oxygen!!!!! Overall today has been amazing. He has seriously made leaps and bounds today. I am so so so proud of him. Thanks you jesus for the amazing progress he has made and the amazing team of people caring for both of us..

Post op oct 1

Well he is done with the wound close surgery (it was really quick!) And is now on a regular unit rather than icu!!!!! PTL! He is scheduled to meet with the physical and occupational therapists monday. I am waiting on a full report/update from doc to find out what the overall care plan is. I am every nurses stations worst nightmare. A family member who knows how the system works and what quality patient care is!! Lol! They just gave him some more pain meds. Think we are both going to sneak in a nap.....scratch that in the time it took me to type that last sentance he is OUT! Does this mean i can turn off college game day now? Well thats it for now. He is making real progress and i cant say thank you jesus enough!

Update from bethesda

Well finally all checked in and has been seen by the doc. Everything looks good so far! He will go back under for "surgery" tomorrow to do a wound wash of the bullet wounds in his arm and abdomen and hopefully close them. If they have any problems (ie infection etc) they will do the wound vac and try to close in a couple days. This is good though cause it means all his wounds will finally be healing. I will admit though that i am more than a little scared to have him go back under anesthesia and go back on the vent, even if it is just for a short time. Docs said he looks really good right now though. If all goes well he should be moved to a regular post op unit after the surgery tomorrow. Yea for no more critical care! I was hoping he would be strong enough to talk to the kids tomorrow but that was before i knew about the surgery. We will try for sunday. I know jackson needs to hear his voice. The outpouring of support here has been incredible. The team here has been so helpful. I was considering staying overnight at the hospital with  him but he is being a booger and wants to make sure i sleep. Typical husband of mine, still trying to take care of me when i am suppose to be here taking care of him!! He says this bed is comfier than germanys was so he seems to be resting better here. Just cant wait to see him out of this bed! Ok, i am off to try and sleep. Please please please continue to pray for the other soldiers here as well. One of the guys he flew in with is a 21yo kid who lost both legs and will most likely end up losing his right arm. I had the pleasure of getting to talk to his dad on the flight from germany to dc. This yound man needs out healing prayers sent asap. As well as the marine who came in with us who has more staples in his head than anyone should ever have in a lifetime. His family has arrived and my heart is breaking for them. So pray warriors we have been doing our job for jeremy we need to make sure we cover the rest of our guys as well! I love you all and thanks again for all the love and support!